Eras(her)

Loyalty -noun- the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations

Sometimes I think Im a slow learner... even though obviously I'm not, it seems that somethings I just don't caught on to.

I took 40 minutes out yesterday to delete all the pseudo-friends I have kept in my life. I deleted about 70 people surprisingly. Home numbers, cell numbers, addressed, emails... all gone. And I don't answer number I don't know... and I won't...

I realized through a very small selfish event by someone I would have called a very very close friend, that I have made a huge mistake keeping a lot of people close to me that I really shouldn't. When I'm hurt and frustrated because these people that I care so much for and I would anything for show me over and over and over again they really don't care about me, do they know it? NOPE. When I have sleepiness nights and cry because no one is there for me like I am there for them, do they even know? NOPE... So why keep them in my life? ... see I told you I was a little slow when it comes to this.... Unfortuatly I've been doing this shit for years....

I had a "friend" that I would do ANYTHING for and time and time she has failed me. She has never really been there for me when I am honest without myself and think about it. Its always been about her... Its actually kinda of sad... I would and have done anything she asked of me but I have never had that loyalty returned.

I had a "friend" who pretty much stole from me and smiles in my face about it. I let her borrow $200 and have yet to be paid back. But swears up and down she has ever intention of paying me back...while she goes to clubs, parties, Las Vegas etc getting tattoos and piercings but hasn't even handed me $20 toward my money back. But I took her phone calls and texts...

And wow... I have an ex.. who was a "friend" who has not gotten over me and uses everything she can as an excuse to stay in my life. When she's sick she calls me, when she's in the hospital she calls me... even uses my children as an excuse... but I can't even let her have my cellphone number because she can't help herself texting and calling harassing me about why we can't be together... well this one I can't say I was slow about because well... thats why she doesn't have my number...

I know its cliche to say you're going to make changes for the New Year but this is something I need to do. I refuse to allow people in my life that don't give back the love, friendship, devotion and loyalty that I have given them. It seriously bothers me that I have allowed myself to be taken advantage of for all these years just to keep the people that I loved close to me and blindly believing they loved me too...

And no... I didn't do this as a silent tantrum to get the attention of those that know they have wronged me or even the ones that don't think they did... I did this for me... I will not fuss and argue with those that I realized that haven't been there for me... whats the point? Nothing will change. These are people that I should have let go years ago and I just didn't... honestly its more my fault than theirs...

I've probably said this phase a thousand times this year but I think I have never meant it so strongly as I do today... "I'm done..."

My Se7en

So...

Almost a year ago I wrote about the Seven Deadly Sins and how two of them apply to me...

See... Se7en

Anyway... I have become very committed to my "sins" and have displayed them for all the world to see the best way I knew how.. TATTOO!

Wow.. 72 years!

The First Black Disney Princess!





It took 72 years from the first Disney movie involving a princess to have a African American Princess BUT it was well worth the wait!




The movie opened December 11, 2009 and I took my daughter and my son to see it. It was packed and I had to end up purchasing tickets online because the first 5 shows were sold out. After we got into the theater there I noticed there were a lot of parent with kids... but there was also grown women alone or in groups waiting to see the movie.

The movie started and I will admit to you (but don't tell anyone) I fell in love with Tiana! I was afraid that there would be ridiculous stereotypes and by the end of the movie I would be disappointed that I even came but it was completely the opposite!!

She is so adorable with her little dimples and modest personality. She was raised with a family with both hardworking parents and was taught to work HARD for all the things she wants in life. But the best part was when I looked over at my daughters face and her eyes were lite up and she had a HUGE smile on her face. She was in love with Tiana too!





If you havent seen The Princess and The Frog, what are you waiting for?


The art and creativity in this movie was the best of Disney quality and you will fall in love with it just like everyone fell for The Lion King!

Listed²

tis the season to start listing...again...





Whizz through the magic of the Enchanted Microcosmos with Erika, the little fairy who smiles and glitters in multi-coloured crystal. Her wings display pink to fuchsia-coloured crystals set in Pointiage®. The inner side displays lilac epoxy.

Article no.: 1024554
Size: 27 9/16 / 1 x 1 3/8 inch
Price: $260.00
www.swarovski.com/







Heartless Dress

From the video by Kanye West... ever since I saw the dress in the video I've wanted it...
Price: Unknown





EasyTone Inspire

Using built-in balance pods to create instability, the EasyTone Go Outside encourages toning in 3 key areas of the leg: the hamstrings, gluteus maximum, and calves.
The slight instability created by the balance pods forces your muscles to work a little harder, toning your leg muscles while you walk.
EasyTone increases muscle activation up to 28% more in your gluteus maximus, 11% in your hamstrings, and 11% in your calves.
Price: $98.98
www.reebok.com




Amazon Gift Card

... I mean what CAN'T you buy on Amazon.com??
Price: $50
www.amazon.com





VW CC

• Chrome grille slats
• Halogen reflector lens fog lights
• Frameless windows and doors
• Electronic Stabilization Program (ESP^®)
• Exterior Signal Mirrors
• Tire Pressure Monitoring System (TPMS)

• Nappa leather seating surfaces with Vavona Wood interior trim
• Heatable front seats
• 12-way power seat
• Four passenger sport seating

Price: $ 32,900

..

..A Diva can dream... can't I...


"Diva" - Beyonce

Through "Our" Eyes

From the author of A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess created a world unlike we have ever seen. It seems simple but no one has ever inked on paper.

Due to overpopulation the world is faced with a world starvation, burden soil, and a land without enemies...where official family limitation glorifies homosexuality.. where promotions where handed to the "most gay" of the employees...

I enjoyed this novel so much that I read it twice and referred it to a few of my friends that also enjoyed the read.

Check it out ---> http://tinyurl.com/wantingseed

Damaged Fruit

"We are who we choose to be...I’m responsible for me" - Floetry

Choosing a partner is like shopping at the grocery for fruit. Everyone wants the perfectly ripe, pretty skinned pickin' with no bruises or soft spots and a very sweet inside.

Some of us spend a while looking over the fruit on display, picking it up... smelling it... looking for unwanted bruises until we find exactly what we think we want.

Some of us pick at random and hope for the best. I was one of those people that tried and balance the good with the bad. I may pick up a nice juicy peach thats ripe and looks soooo sweet but it may have a bruise or two.. but I figured if its that bad I'll eat around it and throw the bad part away. I figured I was getting more sweet juiciness than bruised and damaged so I still win... right???

With a person, you cant just eat around the bad part like you can a piece of fruit and throw it away... it will never go away. When you meet someone that has been damaged by the past regardless of if its relationships, childhood, trama, etc. it will ALWAYS be a part of that person.

I loved once... regardless of her faults or failures I loved her... but she was damaged.

I wanted so bad to be the things that had been missing in her life and show her everything that I was but she was damaged. I shared by life, love and family with her but she was damaged. No matter how far I thought we got, nothing mattered because she was so damaged. Damaged by family, lust, love & life... and honestly I cant blame all of this on her.. I did know what I was dealing with and I still tried to eat around the bruises and the soft spots but at the end I couldn't throw the rest away... once all the sweet juicy ripe flesh was gone all I was left with was the pieces no one wanted.. including her ... there was no fixing what was already damaged... and left with nothing more than that it started to slowly damage me... You know "they" say "One spoiled Apple spoils the bunch"..

I should have taking in all of her... the good and the bad but we both left some of the bad out... through lack of communication, acceptance and loyalty, we failed to do what I intended... take the good with the bad... and all we were left with in the end was damaged fruit....