The Truth

::If She ever left me I wouldn't even be sad no

Cause there's a blessin' in every lesson
And I'm glad that I knew hER at all::

..

You helped define my future

Knowing that everything I want IS possible

I was very doubtful and will admit I've settled

Thinking I would never get everything I wanted and need in ONE person

But because of you, I know it IS possible

The intelligence, the beauty, the sensuality, the strength 

My brain has never been so stimulated

My body has never been so dominated

Even though you were never really mine

Your preview to my future featured film belonged to me

.. Thank you ..

Her Strength

Today, August 25 many woke up remember that a very talented singer named Aaliyah passed tragically... but today will be remember by many of us by the loss a very insiprational, warm hearted and leader in the LGBT community, Mr. Durand Robinson.

I had only met him two or three times while visiting his club but I remember his smile. I still remember how people around him looked and admired him and just wanted to say hi or take a picture with him.

Like I said, I didn't know him well but I do know his daughter and the princess of the legecy of Traxxx well and I truly admire her strenghten. I am not a very emotional person, but when I heard of his passing all I thought about was how she must be feeling. How her heart must be hurting from the loss of her only and dear father.

I admit.. I cried.. a lot... I cried for my friend.. I cried for her loss and I cried for the loss of a positive influence that our LGBT community...

We all lost that day... and we will never forget him


R.I.P. Mr. Durand Robinson

Jump Off Appreciation

**Inspired by Twitter Trending topic & Real Life**

"She want a nukka with no worries, no girlies, no lies and no stories.. Well I'm sorry, she ain't looking for me.."
Lil Wayne

..

I just want to thank you for being there when she isn't

You know that you will never be the one because I already found her and you are okay with that fact

I don't have to remember your birthday, last name, and we don't have an anniversary

I never have to worry about you going through my phone or reading text message because you play your position

Thank you for keeping your mouth shut when you know I'm on the phone with her

And when I call you by her name during sex, I don't have to worry about you going off..

You've never tried to kiss me in the mouth.. girl, thank you

Leaving out of my back door so that my kids don't ever see you, because honestly I don't know how long I'm going to keep you around

You don't except a call back when you leave me a voicemail and are happy just to hear from me, even if I call you 3 days later

I love the way you get up in the middle of the night and just leave without me having to come up with an excuse on why you can't stay

You're awesome!

You know are NOT Mrs. Right BUT I will fuck you til she comes...

The Representative

MissCin: Doesn't it always seem like when you first meet someone.. you aren't meeting them..  you are actually meeting their representative?"

Me: *nodds* Yea...its like a sales pitch huh? Or even an interview..

..

I walked passed the lot on my way to work and stopped to look in at an attractive display that caught my eye..

The Representative walked up to me with a perfect Crest smile and deep dimples and said "Is there anything I can help you with?"

I wanted to say I was just looking and walk off but the display was quite appealing... "Ummm... can you tell me about this model?"

The Representative stepped back a little, winked and said "Well, tell me what you are looking for Miss and I'm sure I will be able to help you with something..."

So I thought to myself.. *shurgz* why not ..."Well I'm interested in a woman with ambition, someone I can build an dynasty with... good work ethic and great at money managing. Oh and of course attractive... loyal.. appreciative, mmm... she has to be a little cocky... hmm a little dominate but respectful with it... and amazing at a good mindfuk"

The Representative tilted her head and smiled and said "You're in luck, I have exactly what you are looking for plus more... She is a hardworking, very ambitious, loyal, honest, cocky, a beast in the bedroom, bilingual, attentive, comes with a full tank of act-right, hasn't been owned in over a year and she is fully versed in the art of mindfuking"

I thought to myself, looked the relationship model up and down, walked around her a little and even if her shoes were clean.. and even though the deal seemed to good to be true I simply said "I'll take her."

I took my newly found treasure, folded up my receipt and put it in my wallet..

I have to admit enjoyed the ride.. and it was smooth at first... I did enjoy her.. and I tried for the most part.. but in the end it seemed everything seems just keep breaking down... the loyalty was sticky, only worked sometimes.. her cocky was turn up way too high and always needed an adjustment and the ego well.. it was always acting up.. but the biggest issue was that I couldnt like keep her tank full of act right for nothing! It was ALWAYS running low.. I mean.. how many months was I supposed to get on that full tank anyway?!

 But you know... unfortunately I did not read my receipt completely... with my purchase I forgot to go over the fine print .. and of course the representative didn't remind me...

As I thought over my return of the relationship model and all of the emotions wasted on her.. I decided to look over the fine print in the receipt.. and not to my surprise it read...

::

For the first 30 days the Representative may twist, stretch or bend the truth to get a "sell". The misrepresentation of the relationship model is the job of the Representative and it is the buyers responsibility to recognize it as bullshit. The relationship model is not guaranteed to last through the interview process. Model may have been used, abused, harbor negative emotions, have trust issues and/or the heart may still belong to another. It is not guaranteed that anything the representative said is actually truth. 

All emotions and time spent is Final. 

In other words...Buyer Beware

::

*shurgz* 

I kinda had to laugh to myself... I knew better ...

*sighz*

Moral: Never trust the Representative...

Bilingual

I paint her name across my bedroom walls

She lives in my lap.. and my ear ... and on my lips

I happily drowned in her locs

Savored her words against my neck

The beauty of Spanish travel into my chest 

"¡ay, coño!"

Conveyance moistened my warmth

Her influence runs down my thigh

My tongue takes her on a road never traveled by

first... last... only...

Muffled moans stroke the tingle in my spine

Eyes tighten as the words stop 

They say nothing last forever

 But THIS moment...

She took me where some only live 30 seconds

But with her.... I live there forever

The last that wants first

{A letter from the Ms. Last to Ms. Next]

*In the point of view of Ms. Last.. for the slow people... obviously I'm Ms. Next*

Dear Ms. Next,

I know I shouldn't be mad at you but I am. I really can't help myself. But you need to know, you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for us breaking up. I had her first, remember that. She was in my life for years and she's still mine. I can still push her buttons and make her lips turn red.. you know that deep deep pink from angrier. Yea, I still got it. She reacts to me this way because she still loves me, right? Well either way.. I still have that power over her.. I pull at heart string for the hell of it because .. well because I can. I know that I can never be the woman she really wants but I don't want anyone else to have her. I was down for her when she went through all her problems and that should be worth something, right? I brought her into my life, shared my children and I showed her family. Just because we broke up doesn't mean you can now be the one that puts a smile on her face. Why should you get her now, when her life is going well... I was there in the good times and in the bad. But she doesn't see that, but I will make her. I hate that she is interested in you! How dare you be different... And I know what you are thinking but so what, I see other people... tell them I'm over her.. lie to her about them... tell them I do want them instead of her, and cuddle with them at night... I still think of her when its convenient. And girl, I know its wrong to lie on you but I have to keep her all for me, you see. I know you can't really understand.. but if that means that I have to turn her against you with my lies so that she can stay just within arms reach, I will be selfish and do that... I'm just not ready to let her go.

I will admit you intimidate me but since I'm the ex-girlfriend I know I have to intimidate you too. We both know she will always take my side, even if I'm wrong. Stand up for me to you, and ignore my short comings... I have the power to convince her that you are the one that is the liar even though the truth is on the tip of my tongue, that its really me. I just wanted you to know, I will not be going away anytime soon... she owes me her life... how dare she be happy without me... how dare she be with you and enjoy her life... she should still want to be with me! I demand and I want all her attention for me.. even though I still want to run the streets and see whoever I please, she is still my option. And it doesn't matter if she's moved on, I will do what I can to bring her back.... Not to keep her, just to play with her...  I'm not done with her yet, Ms. Next...  And until I am, I will always be a problem for you. So don't be mad at her, be mad at me, because I am the last that should come in first.

Sincerely,

Her Ex-Girlfriend, Ms. Last

Tie me up and Lace me!

Grab my laces and pull me tighter

Until I can no longer exhale

Under the strong whale bone cage and delicate lace

Black, powerful, desired, strong

I am suffocating but I will not show

Breasts pushed up and throbbing from your tight hold

My body pumping with pleasurable pain

Flushed and barely able to breathe, I love you

Pull harder!

Grip my waist, harder

Tighter

Make me a goddess

Transform me,

Pull me to my limit

Start my rebirth, pull me through

With beauty comes pain

Cold metal and bone digging in my skin

Sustain my ageless body

I will never grow old

I'm Too Cool For You

:whisper:

'Take off your cool... I wanna see you..'

Baby..

..

.. don't be like that... 

you know that I'm just naturally too cool for this... I told you they call me Ice Cold.. Its not that I don't want to let you in but you will have to use a ice pick as a key to my heart

I can't say I'm like Omarion and I don't have a ice box but more like a glacier were my heart used to be..

I'm just to cool to tell you "I like you" but you should know that.. I mean.. you do know that right

My ego won't allow me to tell you that I smile when I think of you ... 

I feel cool water drip down my ribs when I see your dimples but you know.. I feel it melting... I .. well... I mean... you aiight...

...you should know.. I mean... you should see... that you might be The ONE.. I'm just too cool to tell you.. You understand right...

right...

WELCOME HOME ERIKA!!

Every since I saw you in the mall in '08 you have always been able to caught my eye...

..

I've been waiting so long for you, and now your mine...

I LOVE YOU ERIKA!!

WELCOME HOME!

{LOL}

StrangHer

“If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.”

Dear You,

I wonder where you are but I don't know if your really there..

It's like hearing the wind against my window but it's more like against my heart

I feel like I've been looking for you my whole life...maybe you just gave up on me

I know Ive been distracted by a few others

but Ive never really stopped waiting for you

Are you hiding? Are you lost.... or afraid?

Hmm maybe I'm the one that's lost...

Do you really exist?

Are you really out there? or are you one of those dreams that feels real?..

Why haven't you found me yet, girl?

I know if you are truly mine, you know where to look

No clubs or bars, you know me better than that..

I know I've checked every book store in town for you, I think I saw your shadow once..

Heard you reading out loud to yourself..

I listen to Floetry to remember you

And I even checked to see if your were lost between Common's words

I feel you out there, I feel like I'm half of me sometimes

Even though I have never met you Soul Mate, I know you are looking for me too

Maybe I'm the one that's lost

So if you find me first..

You know, between isles at Borders or maybe the Apple store

Give me a sign, so I know it's you

Say something that will make me smile, you know you can

After all this time, I would hate to pass you up, like a StrangHer

Let them eat cake

I'm a little late on this post but whatever lol

I made a fondant cake for the first time... it look me and my mom like 5 hours but I think we did pretty great!

... its not a hat... its just on an upside down plate lol